Like a vehicle traversing a road to a determined destination, so too are our bodies a conveyance for our souls in this journey called life. Whilst the vehicle may sometimes face a fate of challenge, test and accident, the soul continues to be most essential to us…it is our essence, our core. Encounter in this article a beautiful sister who has faced a mammoth challenge in her life-journey; a challenge that altered the vehicle of her being, yet her soul and spirit continues to soar as she endeavours and perseveres with tremendous courage and strength; proving without a doubt, through the viewing of her life, that ALLAH is Al Qaweeyu- The Giver of Strength and Courage and ‘if He brings you to it, He can bring you through it,’ SubhanALLAH!
On that evening when I was first introduced to Sister Ameena Mehtar, I found myself engulfed in a myriad of emotions: Sympathy, for this beautiful young woman whose life had turned a full three hundred and sixty degrees; Awe and wonder, for her levels of acceptance, smiling disposition and visible support system beginning with her devoted husband Rashid Akhalwaya; and intrigue, regarding her very moving and heart-wrenching story. May ALLAH reward her and her husband for their courage throughout and for their eagerness in sharing a part of their lives with us, ameen.
Rashid, begins this life-altering chapter of their lives for us, “It was the third of October 2006, when Ameena kisses me and our son goodbye, and leaves for work in the morning. At about 7:20am, she is involved in a car accident. It takes the paramedics about an hour and a half to get her from the scene of the accident to the Lenmed Clinic only two kilometres away. She is pronounced dead on arrival and the doctor even says that there is nothing they can do. I guess he underestimated the power of Allah. She is then rushed to ICU, whilst being in a coma and is placed on a ventilator. Subsequent x-rays and tests reveal that she has suffered a traumatic brain injury, which included swelling and hemorrhaging, a fractured hip as well as internal bleeding to her stomach. Her head injury was termed as a diffused axonal injury, which means that it was not specific to one area of the brain, but in-fact a few areas. She was given the lowest possible rating for any patient on the Glasgow Coma Scale which is used in head trauma / coma patients. After two weeks, she is taken off the ventilators and one eye finally opens.
During her time in ICU, she has two operations. The first is a tracheotomy, which is a hole in the wind pipe to assist with breathing and the second is a percutaneous gastroscopy, which is a hole directly into her stomach for feeding. She starts showing good signs of recovery but then on the 25th of December 2006, she develops severe aplastic anaemia as a result of an allergic reaction to the drugs Epanutin and Epillum. These are used to control the epileptic fits which is common after a head injury. She also develops a chest infection that turns into pneumonia. She is put back on a ventilator. At this stage all her bodily organs go into shock and the nurses in ICU call the family in the early morning to tell us to come immediately as they do not think that she will survive the day. I guess they too underestimated the power of Allah.
After four months at Lenmed (her bill at Lenmed was one of the highest single accounts ever at the hospital, a total of R604 000), she was transferred to Netcare Rehabilitation Hospital where she spent a further two months before coming home. She was still in a coma when she was discharged from Netcare. When she came home, she spent a further five months in a comatose state before she finally awoke. In total, my wife was in a coma for eleven months. At the end of March 2007, she was discharged and finally came home. The reality was that she now required the assistance of two full-time, live-in nurses for a further six months. On her 27th birthday, we decorate her room with flowers and balloons and even bring in a cake for her. She attempts to blow out the candles but is too weak to do that. She has to learn to do so many things that we all take for granted. In July 2007, she has another operation to close the trachy and remove a fistula that has formed on her windpipe.
It is the fourth of August 2007 and I walk into our room and I say to her, “I Love You”. She responds by saying, “I Love You Too”. I can’t believe she has responded, so I say again, “Ameena, I Love You”. She responds by saying, “I Love You More”. This was something that she used to say before her accident. However, there is no sound when she speaks. Two weeks go by before she tells us that she cannot hear anything. She has been lip-reading during this time.
Subsequent hearing tests at Lenmed Clinic and an Auditory Brainstem Response test at the Donald Gordon Medical Centre reveal that she has suffered a profound loss of hearing in both her ears. The tests reveal that she hears nothing at any decibel level. Nothing wrong with her ears, or her cochlear or the main auditory nerve. This is much deeper, at the brain stem itself. On the 22nd of November 2007, we hear some sounds when she speaks. In January 2008, she has Botox injected into her left forearm and right calf muscle to reduce the spasticity in these muscles. After the treatment, she is fitted for a hand splint from the Rose-Acres Clinic in Germiston which she wears daily and at night, and also has a special leg-brace made for her to help with standing and with eventually walking, Insha ALLAH.
For those who have read about or studied brain injury, her recovery has been nothing short of a remarkable miracle. Her injury was so severe that doctors thought that she would be confined to a wheelchair all her life. She has a point to prove and is slowly proving all the doubters wrong. Ameena has a steely determination and a will to get better. Her memory is very much intact. She exercises daily on a gym-trim or exercise bike. If she is not doing this, then it is standing or sitting with assistance to get her muscles strong again.”
As Rashid concludes in sharing the facts of Ameena’s story, Ameena commences with conveying the reality and emotions she has had to deal with, “I could not possibly tell you everything that could go wrong after a brain injury, but what I can tell you are the problems I have and face on a daily basis. For starters, I am unable to walk and spend my day in a wheelchair, but I believe I will walk again someday. I have lost my hearing and rely totally on lip-reading. For two months after my accident I used a communication board that my husband made for me. I would point out letters of the alphabet and key words so that I could communicate with everyone. Now I speak but people still don’t understand me. Not all the words come out right and I have had to learn to speak slower. That is difficult for me as all my life I used to speak fast.
I never knew what headaches were and now I get them on a daily basis. Severe headaches that feel as if my head will explode. I had to re-learn to chew my food, to swallow, sip from a straw, hold a cup, brush my teeth and to write my name. Everything I do is in slow motion. I can’t bath myself since my accident or go to the toilet on my own. My husband helps me with those things and all other aspects of my personal grooming. I am unable to pass stools on my own, and I suffer from sever constipation. Once a day, my husband has to don a latex glove and do a manual evacuation of my stool.
I am thirty-two years old and I wear napkins and my physiotherapist is teaching me how to crawl, and believe it or not, I even have difficulty doing that. I cannot do the things that I was so passionate about like cooking and baking as our kitchen is not wheelchair accessible. So now I watch while everyone has to prepare meals and see to my needs. I wish I could walk so that I can pour myself a glass of water, make myself a cup of tea and see to my son’s school lunches. Sometimes I can’t pick up the food in my plate as the pieces are too small, so my husband and son will feed me. I can’t do so many things for myself so how do I do it for my beloved son Mohammed. This is what kills me inside. The pain of not being able to do for your child is indescribable. I still try to do the best that I can do for him. Sometimes I think to myself that it is better that I have all the pain and suffering and inability and my child is healthy. I have spasticity in my left hand and right foot. My muscles are pulling constantly. I can stand holding onto something or someone, but I cannot let go or I will fall due to my balance being affected.
Sometimes, the thought of having to get up and face a new day is so daunting but I have come a long way and can’t give up now. I have eye problems too. My right eye does not close completely when I sleep, resulting in infections, red eye or dry eye conditions. I have to use eye drops during the day and anti-bacterial ointment at night. My left eye has become a lazy eye and is out of focus so I occasionally wear a patch over the right eye to give the left eye work to do. This puts a strain on the good eye and results in headaches. Since my accident, the damage to the brain has also meant that I am unable to tear naturally. I have not cried in six and a half years. Not even one single tear. Only ALLAH knows how I miss being able to do even that. Women especially feel much better after a good crying session but I don’t even have that ability.
I sometimes wonder during the day how different my life would have been. I have so much time to think as my husband goes to work, my son is at school, and parents-in-law have their own work/chores to do. I feel so alone but I know I am not alone. My Creator is with me always. People lost all hope. Some thought I would not make it but here I am telling you my story. I studied at RAU and have a BA Law degree. I had a few more subjects to complete my LLB when I had my accident and my life took a different path. My dream was to go on and become a judge. How I wish I could help my husband with all the bills. I know he has spent every cent he had on me. I see the strain on his body and the worry in his eyes.
I read a lot and try to immerse myself in books. Anything and everything. Mainly motivational books, self-help books, true stories. I have to stay positive. Thank heavens for Blackberry. This is my only means of communication during the day and I have learnt to keep in touch with family and friends via sms and bbm. I watch how others communicate and sometimes it is frustrating to see how easy it is for them and so, so difficult for me.”
Ameena so beautifully and courageously shares her concluding sentiments, “When I meet people, I put my hand out to shake theirs and they always see a big, bright smile. I have become an expert at hiding the unbearable pain I feel, physically and emotionally. Fortunately, I still have my faith in the Almighty. Insha ALLAH I will not give up or give in as I still have so much to accomplish; so many dreams to fulfill and I know and realise that so many people are counting on me to see this through. Alhamdulillah, ALLAH has given me the strength and determination to persevere and I pray that always continues to do so. He has also blessed me with a wonderful support structure. My beloved and wonderful husband Rashid, who has been with me throughout! He motivates me on a daily basis; he is absolutely amazing in every sense! May ALLAH reward him always. My dear son Mohammed, who is only nine now, yet he has been through soo much. As young as he is, he has such amazing willpower. He understands all my can’s and can’ts. My husband’s family (his parents and siblings), if it were not for their continued support and motivation,I don’t know if I would have been be able to carry on! Also my friends are a great source of inspiration to me! I may not see them often, but I keep in contact with them with via sms and bbm.”
Ameena’s story possesses such emotion that it tightly grips the heart and moves one to those silent tears that can’t help but fall as one reads on. And as the reality of Ameena’s life filters our minds and understanding, and as we observe hers and her husband’s level of strength and determination we are left in awe…of ALLAH’s Decree, Assistance and in Him being Al Qaweeyu- The Giver of Strength. May our Kind ALLAH continue ‘to bring her through it’; may the light of complete shifa continue to beckon her, providing her with a beacon of hope until she one day reaches it, soon…Insha ALLAH, ameen!
Extracted from my series “Miracles of ALLAH” in the monthly edition of The Muslim Woman
Scroll Through My Thoughts...RSB 