The Eye of Love & Affection between Husband and wife”

I don’t know who needs to read or hear this today, but I needed to share it.

I searched an old article I had written, because today my heart is aching upon hearing the news of some divorces of people I know💔😢. Allah grant them all Aafiyah in this tumultuous time and save us all from the same, aaameen. My intended message is, to continue to look at our spouses through the eye of kindness, love and affection, for the simple reason that Allah will look at us like this and place mercy and love between our hearts.

Many have heard the love story of Lailah and Majnoon. So madly in love with Lailah was Majnoon, that wherever he would traverse he would only sing and compose couplets about his Lailah. Of course, this too earned him his nickname-Majnoon, meaning mad. The King or ruler of that time became quite curious to view Lailah, who had Majnoon so besotted. He expected to see a unique beauty. However, to his astonishment, she was quite ordinary and so he expressed his sentiments to Majnoon. Majnoon’s reply was profound, “To see the beauty of Lailah, you have to look through the eyes of Majnoon.”

Similarly, dear reader, to continue to see the beauty (internal and external) of your spouse you need to look at them through the eyes of kindness, love and affection. Once upon a time, marriages were ‘happily ever after.’ The ‘happily ever after’ not signifying a marriage without its tests and trials but rather one that never ended in divorce. Marriage is indeed a full time job that requires constant effort, attention and perseverance. And like anything else in life that is nurtured and nourished the rewards and fruits of it prove endless.

Love and affection between spouses are the foundation of harmony and happiness in every home. When there exists no love and affection between husband and wife; mother and father, can there exist harmony and happiness in that home?
While sometimes there will be disagreements and we may not like our partners very much at that moment, we must understand that we NEED to continue loving them. As our Kind ALLAH states in the Glorious Quraan, “AND OUT OF HIS SIGNS IS THAT HE CREATES MATES FOR YOU FROM YOURSELVES, THAT YOU MAY FIND PEACE AND TRANQUILITY IN THEM AND HE PUTS BETWEEN YOUR HEARTS LOVE AND AFFECTION. SURELY THESE ARE SIGNS FOR A PEOPLE WHO REFLECT.” (Quraan 33:21)

In an effort to enlighten ourselves as to how to maintain the ‘eye of love and affection’ between husband and wife, we need to understand what is the value of our roles in the fundamental and sacred institution of marriage.
We return to the perfect example, Nabi Muhammad SAW, who encouraged…

1. The Mu’min with the most perfect Imaan is one who has the best character and who is the kindest to his wife. Tirmidhi

2. A believing woman who prays her salaah, fasts in Ramadaan, guards her chastity and pleases her husband will be told to enter Jannat from whichever door she wishes. Mishkaat

3. The best amongst you are those who are best to their wives. Ibn Majah

4. If I were to order anyone to make prostration to anyone, I would have ordered a wife to prostrate to her husband. Tirmidhi

5. The best dinar a man spends is the dinar he spends for his family. Muslim

6. The whole of this world is a commodity and the best of commodities is a virtuous wife. Muslim

7. There are three persons whose prayers are not accepted nor their virtues noted: A fugitive slave until he returns to his master, a drunkard until he becomes sober and a wife with whom her husband is displeased with. Baihaqi

8. Whosever has been gifted with these four things has been gifted with the best of this world and the next: A grateful heart; a remembering tongue; a body that is patient in difficulties and a wife who preserves chastity and her husband’s property. Baihaqi

9. Deal with women correctly and with kindness. If, then, you dislike them, then it is possible that you dislike something while ALLAH has created abundance of goodness in it. Surah Nisaa:Verse 19

10. When a man enters his home cheerfully, Allah creates, as a result of his happy attitude, an angel who seeks forgiveness on behalf of him, until the Day of Qiyaamah. Mishkaat

Undoubtedly as husbands and wives we have different amaanats/rights to fulfill towards one another. Should we fulfill them firstly always for the Pleasure of ALLAH and secondly always out of love and affection for our spouses we are not only securing a harmonious and happy home but we are also securing our Jannah, ‎Alhamdulillah. For indeed quite simply understood, we grasp from AL-Quran and ALLAH’s Nabi Sallallahualaiwassallam that in order to be the ‘best of men, be the best to your wives’ and that in order to ‘enter Jannat from any door you wish’ then please your husband. And how should we view one another, dear Muslims? Always through the eyes of love and affection….”For true love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to SEE an imperfect person perfectly.” – Jason Jordan.

Read and emulate the inspiring stories of love of our Beloved Nabi SAW, Ambiyaaa AS and His companions and their spouses and be inspired to believe in Happily Ever After.

For more on this read my book *Everybody Loves A Love Story*