From the moment her child is conceived and her body begins to transform itself to meet this new physical adjustment, a woman, a mother also finds herself metamorphasising emotionally and mentally. Her ideas, values and aspirations alter to accomodate and anticipate the new life growing within her. Such is the power of motherhood, SubhanALLAH! Every mother will attest to the numerous choices and changes that only motherhood had the ability of introducing her to.
In this month’s series In The Embrace of Islam we encounter Sister Mae, a South African revert who researched and chose Islam for the sake of the future of her unborn child. With aspirations for the best upbringing for her unborn baby, her heart found itself drawn to Islam. We traverse her rousing tale of reversion…
“Like most Europeans in South Africa, I grew up as a Christian. However my family was a bit more religious than the average “Christian” family. We attended church every Sunday morning and evening as well as on Wednesdays and Fridays. My family did not consume pork nor alcohol. They also did not smoke. Foul language was not allowed in our home. My mum always used to cover her head with a hat or scarf when she went to church and she always dressed modestly.
As teenagers we were not allowed to go to parties or dances. So as you can imagine I had a fairly strict upbringing. After school I went on to study Theology. After completing my degree, I furthered my studies by studying fashion design and that was where the external influences began. I was suddenly exposed to gay and bisexual people as well as other religions and races. I entered the working world and also had various relationships with men.”
Sharing with us her initial introduction so Islam, Sister Mae continued, “I ended an almost five year abusive relationship with my then boyfriend due to his ongoing drug addiction. I was almost thiry at the time. I made the decision to concentrate on my work and focus on rebuilding my life. During this stage of my life most of my clients were Muslim.
After a two year break, I felt ready for another relationship and I decided to pray to God to guide me to it. Two weeks later I met a Muslim man. He showed a keen interest in me. After a couple of weeks, I asked him not to make contact with me as my biggest concern was our religious differences. However, he continued to pursue me and during a ten month period I requested three times that he not have any contact with me. He would respect my wishes for a couple of days but then would once again contact me or come to my home declaring his undying love. Sixteen months into our relationship I fell pregnant. Due to our religious differences as well his confusion as to how to deal with his sin and family, he ended the relationship with me. I was six months pregnant at the time.”
Enlightening us as to how, when and why she decided to take the shahaadah and enter Islam, Mae shared, “My company closed during the December holidays and that was the time that I really did some soul-searching. I realised I was going to be a single mother and that I needed to be able to give this unborn child of mine the best possible upbringing I could as a parent. I looked at my own life and weighed up Christianity, as well as the Catholic and the Islamic religion. Christianity got a mental no from me, as I felt that it had never taught me any discipline. Sending my child to a Catholic school was also a no-go for me, as my mind kept recalling the many articles circulating about Priests molesting children. And so I found myself choosing Islam. I visited the library every day reading up on Islam. I found that Islam answered many questions that I had about Christianity, which Christianity could not. It was on the 12 February 2010 that I took my Shahadah. My son was born a couple of weeks later. Despite having hatred towards the father for leaving me during my pregnancy, it did not deter me from accepting Islam. I could not blame Islam for his choices.
It was a difficult time for me as I was alone during the delivery. My family and I were not on the best of terms. The father of my child also only came to see the baby later on after the delivery. Yet to me gratitude, I knew this Muslim family that had sort of ‘adopted’ me, as I had no family in the province I stayed in. The mother and her daughter in-law visited me at my home regularly and kindly showed me how to do many things the Islamic way.
My son was four months old when the father finally approached me to make Nikah.
Allah (SWT) has blessed us with another boy during the course of our marriage and we are still happily married, Alhamdulillah. Having worked through our differences and some marriage counseling.”
In the journey of life, we are all faced with challenges, perhaps moreso those who revert to Islam. Yet Sister Mae strongly shares her fortune in not experiencing many, “I have not really experienced too many challenges since reverting. I never really had much contact with extended family as they reside in other provinces in South Africa. However, my mum and I have our differences as she is very set in her ways and is not prepared to read or learn about Islam. Yet, my closest friend has accepted my decision.”
Concerning her favourite aspects of Islam, she said, “My favorite aspect of Islam is the protection I find in that I can now cover my beauty and body. I can safely and comfortably walk anywhere without getting those lust-full stares from men. No wolf-whistles nor pet names like “baby” or “sexy” being directed at me anymore.”
With regards to her goals and objectives as a Muslimah, she shared, “I am currently busy writing a book about women in marriage and In Sha Allah I will find a publisher when its complete.”
In her concluding sentiments and thoughts, Sister Mae effectively conveyed, “The message I would like to share with other Muslims, me being a revert, is to never stop learning about Islam. Read ahaadith and you will beautify yours and your families’ lives.
My message to Non-Muslims would be to read and learn about Islam. It is the opposite of what the media portrays it as. It is beautiful and simple. Read, for truly knowledge is power.
A cousin of mine once said that Allah is not a real “God”. How wrong a statement that was! If you find Him and come to know who ALLAH really is to us His creation and read Al Quran there would never be a doubt in your mind about the existence of our Merciful Creator.
As a Non-Muslim do not condemn Islam and Muslims if you yourself have never attempted to learn anything about Islam.
May Allah continue to guide us. In Sha Allah.”
Indeed through witnessing Sister Mae’s reversion to Islam, we reflect on the safety and sanctuary that Islam affords us as Muslims and of course, our precious children too, Alhamdulillah.
Extracted from the SA print mag- The Muslim Woman Magazine 2013, Edition 4
With intent on aspiring and inspiring towards the L♥√ع and Pleasure of ALLAH subhanawa’ta’ala,
Rehana Shah-Bulbulia, the author of ‘Falling In Love With Muhammad SAW’, blogs here
And tweets as @muslimahatpeace
Scroll Through My Thoughts...RSB 